Friends with Kids

I watched this movie the other day and it was very interesting to me.  Not the idea of trying to have a kid with your best friend to get past all the weird stuff that kills romance, but the view of how people without kids view people with kids.  This, of course, is us.  We are the people with kids.  And not just one.  In the movie the two couples that have kids never go out, always seemed stressed, their house is a mess, they parents are constantly fighting, and watching them would scare anyway anybody remotely thinking that kids are a good idea.  And, that might be true for the vast majority... shoot, that is even true for us at times.  I can guarantee you that my house isn't spic and span 24/7... there is that quick moment after I've gotten the kitchen cleaned after breakfast that the dining room doesn't have something all over it... and there is that small moment after the kids pick up that we can see the floor, but for the most part, nope.  I would rather play with my kids and have fun, and teach them things than put the facade out there for people that kids aren't messy.

Anyhoo... it just got me thinking that being a parent isn't a cake walk, and it shouldn't be.  There are hard lessons that you need to teach your kids and there are hard lessons you need to learn from your kids.  I think a lot of problems with marriage, people having kids and then trying to still have a healthy marriage is selfishness.  In the movie I heard the line a lot, "Well, it's your turn..." "I guess it's my turn to take care of the poop now!"  Or something along the lines.  There was this underlying resentment between the parents about the kids and the responsibility of having them.

First, being married is hard enough for some.  There is this idea of having to put somebody else's needs above your own that is really really REALLY hard for people to get.  I think that's why the first year of marriage is hard for most.  And, if you sit down and think about it, it's because you're holding onto your selfish tendencies.  Its hard to learn to put somebody else above your wants/needs... and not only that, but to be happy to do it.  For how ever many years of your life you've been able to do what you've wanted, but now there is this other things that has come into your life that demands your time and energy, and not necessary when you feel like doing it.  And, in doing that, you can become resentful.  I suppose that's why over 50% of marriages fail... not easy stuff.

Then, you add in kids.  Before it was just you and your spouse.  But now, you have somebody else to take care of, and you are responsible to make sure they don't grow up to be an idiot or a detriment to society. And if you're still trying to work things out with the previous paragraph, then you're never going to make it.  And, I hate to break the cute idea of whatever babies are, but they are selfish too.  They may not be able to vocalize what they want, but as they're screaming and crying they are demanding things at a different level.  Yes, you have to feed your child.  Yes, you have to change their diaper because it's not morally acceptable to let them sit in their filth.  So, now you're dealing with that too!

Like who gets to stay up with the kid that is sick?  This Momma will take all the chances I can get to snug with our Miss.  Even if that means wearing a shirt full of snot/drool.

And our little man who isn't feeling well, but just wants to be warm and in a nest.  :)

I have to say that we may joke about whose turn it is to change the diaper or spray them out, but there is this understanding, and even agreement we have about how we want to raise the kids.  I don't have the answers on what makes parenting easy, or how to make it not as stressful, but I just know that its not as dramatic as Hollywood makes it out to be.  Even when the kids are being terrors and I want to Homer Simpson them, I know that it's only for a little while.  Makes me wonder if our friends look at us and think, "Run!  Don't do it!"  "Why are they having more?!"  "Are they crazy?"  (And the answer to that is, yes, but not because of the kids).  But ya know?  I wonder what our friends think about their crazy friends who started having kids really young.  Fun stuff to think about.  :)

JVG