December 1st is the beginning of Advent. I feel like I should know way more about this season than I do, but I really don't. I know that in churches they light an Advent candle every Sunday until Christmas... but I really haven't dove into the meaning for myself... so I'm going to try and change that this year.
Ingrid always sends the kids an Advent calendar that's filled with chocolates on each day, but I just don't feel right about letting them open it daily when I can't even explain to them why they're doing it. Most would say, for the chocolate obviously! Well, yes, I can just give my kids chocolate without tying it to something like Advent.
This past Sunday was the first Advent Service. It. Was. Awesome. This message centered around Hope and it is well worth listening too. I don't think that the podcast is up, but it should be by at least tomorrow.
He touched on something that I think a lot of people get wrapped up in, and I'm desperately trying to keep myself in check. Consumerism. I think that Gaetan and I are pretty much out of the loop with it because we don't really listen to the radio, other than NPR and let's face it, they're not really into trying to see us things... and we don't watch TV so there goes the commercials. We felt pretty unscathed during the elections because we dont' have a landline so we couldn't get robo-called, and again, with the commercials we didn't see them.
This time of year is hard because people get so nostalgic about family and what they should be doing and making things look perfect and neat... and we all know when you bring family together, it is anything but that. It's difficult for us this time of year because Ingrid gets the same way. Throughout the rest of the year she doesn't ask about seeing us all the time or making comments about how we never spend the night at her house. My favorite lately is that she has been trying to work out this 'rotation' system on weekends to see us... like they're fighting over custody of when they get to see us. And after she says her schpeel to Gaetan (because she never talks to me about scheduling...) she doesn't actually invite us over or anything like that. It's like she just wants something to say about how we don't see her every week... And I know that she wants family to be around during the holidays and this year Zoe isn't going to come home so, this is her little way of trying to keep in control of something.
Anyways, back to consumerism. It's hard to be around her during the holidays because she is ALL about it. The deals, the shopping, the needless spending of money on little trinkets just to say that she got something for everybody. She has a stash of presents (little things she accumulates throughout the year) in her basement incase she needs a last minute present because that person got her something and she didn't get them something. It sounds like a good idea, but they're things like Christmas themed paper plates and napkins... To her its all about consumerism. And it's not to us. And she can't understand that, and she doesn't try to either. I think that's the worst part. She just writes us off as progressive and liberal and just plows right on through with all the things that she wants and wonders why we don't want to spend lots of time with her...
This part of the year should be a joyous occasion filled with hope and love, not dread of having to spend time with your family. Unfortunately, she's not really getting the point that we aren't seeing her that much because we choose not to. That may sound harsh, but we are firm believers of being truthful instead of putting out that facade. I'm not going to expose my kids to things I don't believe are helpful just to appear nice. I would rather just not see her than see her and not really want to. And that goes the same for my friends too. If you don't want to hang out I would rather you just say it than try and be polite. I'm not sure why people think that this time of year you need to be extra nice to people you normally wouldn't be, but people do. I think that's what gets me about this season. People act totally different than they do the rest of the year and then go right back to being their old self.
Just. Be. You. And I will love you for it. My closest friends know that's the key to my heart. Honesty. And they're honest with me all the time, which is probably why we're the closest.
So, think of why you're doing something this holiday season and if you can't come up with a good answer, maybe you should revise why you're doing it.
JVG
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