WARNING: This post will contain some harsh adult language.
Last Saturday I was shaking because I was so angry. As we all know Wilfreda=not my favorite person. And ever since Zoe has been back in the picture it's been more and more apparent that I can't stand. Saturday, I think was where I came to my realization of what drove me crazy about her.
She called Gaetan up in the morning FREAKING out about Zoe's housing in Seattle. She was trying to fill out a student loan form for Zoe (because of course she's going to be paying for most of it) and she didn't know what to put down for if she was going to live on campus or not. At the very beginning of the conversation I heard Gaetan tell her that we told Zoe that we knew people out there, and would help her if she didn't want to live on campus. 1.) Dorms suck, They're tiny and they're filled with freshman 2.) she would be paying WAY more for something tiny and they're going to be filled with freshman. 3.) They would make her have a meal plan and I can guarantee you that vegetarian/vegan options aren't going to be a plenty. 4.) They're going to be filled with freshman. 18 year olds that are on their own and going to be going crazy. Zoe is going to be 23 (or is, something like that) and I think that's going to drive her crazy. Also, they could get her in trouble because they're underaged and she won't be...
So, we tried explaining all these things to her and Wilfreda just kept ignoring us (like she always does) and kept talking about how she's never done this before and doesn't know what to do. Well, news flash lady, WE HAVE. Both of us have. We've both gone to college, moved away, and did just fine. Hell, we even filled out our own paper work too. And, not to downplay it, but we majored in SCIENCE, not fine arts... but of course that doesn't matter. We still don't know anything. Finally Gaetan was saying something and she told him that he had to be nice to her. What?! First, you're going to call us, then not listen, and then accuse us of being mean? I don't think so. I was seriously about ready to reach through that phone and wring her scrawny little neck. Eventually we just told her to have Zoe call us if she really wanted help.
Really, the thing that pisses me off about this certain situation is the fact that Zoe is a grown ass woman. She's been living her life just fine without this crazy woman and yet for some reason now that she's back she's reverting back to a child. Zoe has moved all around, and has always made it work, I'm not sure why this is different. And I'm not sure why she always run to Wilfreda when she thinks she needs help. SHE WILL NOT HELP YOU. SHE WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE.
Zoe and I had an interesting conversation about Wilfreda, and it's hard because when we talk Zoe seems to understand what type of person she is. But then when she talks with her or visits she gets manipulated by her over and over again. I talked with my good friend Amy about a lot of things that day and I think we got to the root of my issue with her.
I can't tolerate, or stand, when people's selfish decisions hurt others... especially when it comes to my family. Wilfreda told Zoe that she was afraid that we were pulling away because Gaetan doesn't call as much anymore... which is true. He doesn't. He used to call more because I would ask him to, because I thought it was the nice thing to do. Because for me, I want to talk with my mom and I know that we would have good conversation and she would give good advice when I needed it. However, now I know more about Wilfreda and I would never make him call her. Zoe tried to explain that she and I are polar opposites... that I'm pretty laid back and she's pretty high strung. That the things that Wilfreda finds fun I don't. Even by the way we demonstrate how we care for people is totally opposite and all Wilfreda could do was give snarky little pissy shit answers that 12 year olds would do. She scoffed and said that we were alientating a lot of people by only hanging out with people like us and that she hoped our kids were laid back or else we wouldn't want to hang out with them.
First of all. What. The. Fuck. I don't know who she thinks she is saying that stuff about us. My beef with her is her lack to understand what is appropriate and what isn't. How she thinks that what she did as a "mother" (and I use the term loosely) is any where near acceptable. Right now, I can't have my kids around her. They are at the age where they are very vulnerable and the things that they learn now, see and hear will affectively shape who they are. And if I can help it, I will not subject them to that crazy. She thinks that she has a right to see them, that she's entitled because she's Oma. Well, news flash. You don't. Just because you had two children, (and I say had because she sure has hell didn't raise them. And maybe leaving them alone is one of the better things she ever did for them) and because one of your kids had kids, doesn't make you have any sort of 'right.'
When ever she visits all she does is fawn over Lucy and tell her that she has to be a pretty girl and that when she gets older then Oma will buy her pretty things and jewelry. Meanwhile completely ignoring Tristan. I've seen what her 'affection' has done to Zoe. I don't know how many times I've heard Wilfreda tell me that Lucy has to lose weight. Are you fucking kidding me? You want to tell me that my one year old daughter needs to lose weight because you think she's too fat? Hate to break it to you, but that's called being healthy. Zoe struggles with eating disorders, counting calories and always feeling inadequate. Whenever she stays with Wilfreda she's always telling me how she gets her meals portioned out and can't have more if she wants. RE FUCKING DICULOUS. Not everybody can be skin and bones like you Wilfreda... and I can guarantee not everybody would want that.
I can't tolerate the way she makes it seems like what Gaetan does isn't spectacular at all. She pretty much dismisses anything like everybody can do it. But when it comes to Zoe, nobody could be doing the things that she is doing. It's hurtful to watch her be that way and to think that it's OK. I will not sit idly by while you systematically try to throw your bull shit on my family. It's not OK. And for whatever reason she won't listen to us. She'll listen to Zoe so when Zoe presents these things to her she understands why they're wrong and semi half apologize to us for being bat shit crazy... but it's not good enough.
And the hardest thing for me is that she doesn't understand my motivation to want to protect my family. I don't think that you have to be a mother to understand that, but once you are a parent I would find it hard to believe that anybody would try to do otherwise. She is a selfish selfish woman who has a life full of baggage that is pulling her down. I know it will take time but for right now I'm doing what I need to do.
And this isn't just pointed at her. If any one of my friends, or family members, or anybody we spend a considerable amount of time around would do this everytime, even though we've tried talking to them about it, they would be cut out too. I wouldn't feel bad about it. Not one bit. And I don't feel bad about Wilfreda. My kids and husband are WAY to important to me for this nonsense to happen. And it would be a shame for them to grow up only knowing one set of their grandparents, but I am completely ready for that, should it play out that way. Some may think it's cold hearted. Some may think I'm being unreasonable. And you know what I say to them? Too fucking bad.
JVG
No comments:
Post a Comment