A funeral=a show?

Now, I know that it's not really a big surprise that Ingrid and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things.  But the last visit she had with us was an interesting one.  There were times that I thought, "This is going really well." and I momentarily forgot how she really is.  But this little conversation/her point of view is still irritating me.

She was talking about all the things that she had to get done before they left for their trip to Spain.  And the first thing she listed off was that she had to go to a funeral the next day.  At first I was concerned because I didn't realize that somebody had died, and really, nobody likes funerals.  And to me, I avoid them at all costs... and the only reason why I end up going to some of them is to show support.  But this isn't like that at all.  In fact, she didn't even know the guy.  WHAT?!  Are you serious?  You want to attend somebody's funeral that you maybe were at the same event with?  Turns out this guy was a pretty big deal in the masons (Mike, her husband is a mason).  And because he was such a big deal it was going to be a pretty large event.  In her words, "I'm excited to go because it's going to be a big show."  First of all I don't think that there is anybody in their right mind who is excited to go to a funeral... and secondly, I just couldn't understand seeing it as a show.  Somebody died.  That somebody has people who genuinely care about them, and you want to go just so you can see a 'big show?'

I called her out on it.  I asked her why she liked that and then she tried to tell me that she knew him because they where at a benefit dinner together or something.  I just don't understand how she can't see what was wrong with the whole thing.  and basically she did just want to get dressed up, be around a bunch of people, and see what type of funeral this big wig in the masons could have.

It's conversations like this, and so many more, that make me shake my head.  That makes me realize that I would never leave my children alone with her.  And how people can actually think like that.  That its more important for appearances than being sincere.  I'm not sure that I've ever had a sincere moment with her, which is awful.  And the worst part is, I don't know if I ever will.  I would love to have important conversations with her, but that's not what she's looking for when she visits.  Gaetan and I talk about her a lot and how to handle these situations and it normally boils down to us trying not to be bitter and trying not to keep score.  I guess we have these things in our lives to remind us of what we don't want.  We pray for her, and I hope that God will change her life and that her eyes would be opened.

JVG