Yes, that title probably sounds a bit silly but it's true. Remember when I said that this month we were probably going to be seeing a lot of the out-laws and I was going to need a lot of prayers? Well, it pretty much went down as I expected. :( It's a bit of a long story, so bear with me.
Zoe got into town and ended up staying with her Mom. No biggie, because that's what she normally does, but this time she had all of her belongings because at the end of this trip she was flying out to Seattle for school. Lieve (the Grandmother) is also in town and Wilfreda is always out in full force when she's around. I'm not quite sure why, because Lieve is probably one of the most laid back, fun people to be around... but Wilfreda is always flitting around being unnecessarily busy, and I think it's because she's trying to impress her Mom (which she doesn't have to do). Again, trying to keep up the appearance that she has everything together, when in reality, everything is a hot mess.
Well, because Zoe was staying there, and she wasn't the favorite (because Wilfreda was devoting all her time and attention to Lieve) she was pissed. Zoe has to be the center of attention, and she's used to have Wilfreda give her that attention. So, Zoe ended up coming and staying with us a few days because she wasn't having any fun staying out in the middle of no where. We had some good serious talks, like we normally do, but I'm starting to realize that this is also her MO. Zoe knows a lot of things, and she can talk about them, but in reality, she can't actually put them into practice... and that's hard for me to understand. When I say things I mean them, and I won't just agree to be polite. Well, Zoe was telling us about all the stuff that Wilfreda was complaining to her about, about us and most of it was really stupid. For example, she was all in a huff that we hadn't called to say Hi to Oma yet (even though it'd only been a few days, and we figured that she would want to rest and try to catch up on the jetlag). So, I had Gaetan call the house and talk with her, and it was for a few seconds. I kinda figured with the way that Wilfreda was making a big deal out of it that they would've talked for at least a few minutes but Gaetan said that she doesn't like talking on the phone. Seriously? She was getting all pissy because we didn't call a woman who doesn't even really like talking on the phone? Ok...
Well, the catalyst to the meltdown was when we moved and didn't tell her. Honestly, we just plain forgot. A lot of things had happened, and we were exhausted and just trying to get everything working. She FREAKED out and said that we don't tell her anything and that she's the last person to know. Let me break this down for you. She was pissed because she didn't have her nose all up in our business and she didn't even really care about knowing about moving, but she was mad because she felt like everybody else knew before her. It has nothing to do at all with the subject of the knowing, it's just that she didn't know. Oh, I'm sorry... I forgot that moving is all about you. Hrm, my bad.
I ended up talking to Zoe about it because obviously Wilfreda doesn't have the balls to come out and say it, just talk shit behind our backs. And Zoe, being the most mature person ever says that she has to much stuff going on in her life (stressing out unnecessarily about school) to deal with 'our' problems. First, I don't have a problem, she does. Second, don't act like you're the only person who can fix things, because most of the time you're part of the problem. Third, don't think so highly of yourself that we NEED you at all times.
And the main reason why I called was to find out what she wanted me to bring to this party she dreamed up. Yeah, remember that party she wanted to have out at Wilfreda's place for her going away, Tristan's birthday and Oma's birthday? You know, the party that she wanted us to drive out there for, bring more than half the food, and then didn't even ask us for that day worked for us? Oh yeah! That party! So, Zoe got pissy and just said, "you know what? This party is just adding to the stress, so we should just cancel it." I told her if that's what she wanted to do then, we were down and we still wanted to see them later, because we had yet to see Lieve.
Apparently, Wilfreda was still talking shit behind our backs and was pissed that we were only going to be out there for a few hours for the party. Zoe told her that we were probably going to drive out during nap time, stay for a few hours (until the kids crashed) and then we would have to go home, because it's a long drive and we have two small children. You know what she said to that? "So." And she said the same thing about having to drive out during nap time so that Lucy could sleep in the car because she gets car sick. "So." It's like she doesn't understand anything. She couldn't care less that we have small children that we need to take into consideration. That, she was pissed that we never go out there because there's nothing to do, she yells at the kids for touching stuff, and then ignores us once we get there. And this is after Lucy has been in the car for a few hours getting sick. She doesn't even want us out there, she just wants to be able to tell people that we came and visited. I couldn't believe that she didn't care about the kids at all, and respecting the fact that they have bed times. Just goes to show...
Anyhoo... we wanted to see Lieve so I'd been trying to make plans to see them but Wilfreda was making it impossible. She knew that Gaetan had his qualifer and she knew what days we had available. It was like she knew that she could withhold Lieve from us, and she was. So, Gaetan finally called her and said, "Look. We both had plans to hang out at the party but since that got cancelled why don't we still get together, just do something different. We should both be available and that way we get to see Lieve sooner than later." And guess what? They didn't actually cancel the party. They just uninvited us. So, she sheepishly had to tell us that they didn't cancel it and they just didn't want us there. So then they had a big discussion which I'll talk about later.
I was pretty pissed actually. Don't get me wrong, I was relieved when we didn't have to drive out there, and I had to prepared a bunch of food, while I wasn't feeling the greatest. Then, have to be out there with all HER Friends and try to kill time and not be rude. The thing I was pissed about was they lied. I don't like being lied too. If anybody knows anything about me, they should know that I like hearing the truth, whether its pleasant or not. I don't have time to play prissy little games. I texted Zoe and told her that she should've just said that we shouldn't come because it was causing problems and I would've been down with that. VS this trying not to hurt my feeling crap by telling me one thing and really doing another. I really don't think that it's a hard concept to understand. Being truthful makes things less complicated and takes way less energy in the long run. And really, I knew that they didn't cancel the party because she made a FB event about it... smart.
However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. After Gaetan's big discussion with Wilfreda their visits afterwards have been far more pleasant and endurable. See? Honesty is the best policy.
JVG
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