That weekend was just it. She came over with her children and instead of being a mother, she went in the other room and started drinking. She is the queen of if she ignores the problem she somehow thinks it will go away or fix itself.... so whenever she comes over to Mom and Dad's for pizza and beer she automatically assumes that somebody else will watch her kids. That they will get fed food that she didn't have to pitch in for or help or do anything. Lucky for her I have an awesome husband who picks up the slack because someone has too or her bratty ass children will run rampant. This is also a reason why Mom is so pissed all the time. Holly never got her degree before she got married so now she is going back to school but is taking night courses. Why is she taking night courses when she could be taking classes during the day when her kids are in school one might ask? Who fucking knows. This just has Holly logic written all over it. So, two times a week for 5 or so hours at a go (because she is taking satellite classes in Holland? What the hell?) Mom gets taxed with watching her kids because for some reason the 12 year old can't watch them. Riiiiiight. And, that's just not what Mom is into. Not only does she have to watch her kids all night but she has to usually pick them up from school and all that stuff too. So, that weekend Holly was right back at ignoring her kids and making sure somebody took care of them. And, after the week we had we just weren't up for the tax of dealing with their stupid.
To top it off at dinner time she made it known that she wanted to jam with Dad but I told her that by the time Dad got home our kids were going to be in bed and I would rather not they play loud music and keep them up. And you know what she says after we just wanted her kids for a couple of hours? "This happens every weekend! By the time Dad gets home and done eating your kids are in in bed! We never get to jam." Oh. I'm sorry. Did I inconvenience you by having to take care of my kids and put them to bed? What a selfish jerk I am. How could I let yet another thing you wanted to do and not watch your kids not happen. Shame on me. Just shame. I seriously couldn't believe that she said that to me.
But, what does she do? She leaves one of her kids there to spend the night at Mom and Dad's while she takes the rest of the home? What the hell? So, in the morning time when we are trying to get ready for church Mom shushes us and tells us that we have to be quiet because Justus is sleeping on the couch. Oh. I see. So, wanting people to be quiet so that my kids can sleep is selfish and inconvenient but when you want to do it is ok? Oh, and by the way. My oldest is 5. Yours is 12.
I seriously just want to shake her and say, "WAIT UP AND SMELL REALITY. You fucked up. You fucked up big by marrying a complete and utter asshole and then having FOUR kids with him. You don't get to put your head in the sand and pretend like your life isn't falling down around you because it is. Your kids are messed up because you sheltered them for so long and now they can't make decisions for themselves or take care of themselves. You are still in la-la land thinking that you can just take and take and take and there won't be any repercussions. Well, there will be. We are family. We aren't your care taker. Your 'parenting' style of being cool Mom isn't working. You need to stop with the woe is me because its about time you got on your feet and started being an active member of society." And, somehow because she is the older sister she thinks she knows so much more than I do. Sorry sister, but I think I got you on this one. You want to make little jab comments about how my car isn't clean or that I have dishes in my sink? It's true. My van looks like I have three small children and my sink looks like I cook actual meals for them and instead of trying to clean them up while they are awake I spend actual time with them. You think I'm being mean when I had a busy week and am in a bad mood? Guess what? I am allowed to be in a mad mood every now and again and chances are your shitty ass kids put me in that foul mood. I hate having to go to my parents knowing that we automatically are watching 7 kids instead of our 3. Yes, I have my shit together. Yes, I made good choices and decisions that didn't put me in a situation and because of that I can't have an off day. I must be perfect 24/7. And where I think we function at a pretty high percentage it's not 100%. It can't be. And I'd appreciate a little wiggle room from someone who thinks they get everything for free.
Yes, we go to mom and dad's for pizza and beer and for the majority of it they buy the pizza. but there are times we offer and then actually get the pizza. Or I bring snacks or dessert or something. I try to contribute. Or, I help clean up. What the fuck do you bring? Nothing. You just take. And take. And then complain that you ate all the cookies that someone brought. nobody forced you to eat them. So, STOP COMPLAINING. Your life is what you are making and right now it's nothing. I would feel overwhelmed too if I had forgotten how to make decisions. YOU ARE A SINGLE MOTHER NOW, you NEED TO START MAKING DECISIONS FOR YOUR FAMILY. There is no one who is going to tell you what to do and you need to start having the confidence in yourself to start doing it.
She always wants people to watch her kids and do things for her but when you ask her for a favor she somehow flakes out of it or claims she didn't know what you were talking about. nobody is that stupid dear sister, yes, even you. I just don't know how someone can feel good about themselves being so unproductive. I just don't like how she takes advantage of Mom and Dad's good will and wanting to help and is such a bratty ungrateful little jerk in return.
Anyhoo. End rant.
JVG
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