Adoption

I know that it has always been apart of the plan to adopt, but we always figured we would wait until G was done with school and had a career.  However... things happen in mysterious ways and there was a little boy that needed to be adopted ASAP, so... we filled out the paperwork for it.  He is two, just like Norah and they usually don't like that because they want to keep the birth order but since it was such a dire situation they said they would look past it.




It was a short lived process because they deemed we didn't make enough money.  I kinda figured that that would be the case, but it was worth a shot.  There was just something about this boy that tugged at my heart to even want to consider doing it this early.  The guidelines for Korea, for a family of 6's income had to be 65K or higher, which isn't something we are at right now... which was a bummer.  I asked the agency if we could keep track of him if he wasn't adopted and they said they would let us know.

Although it was sad and not the outcome I desired, I think it was good because it helped me see that adoption is still very much something I want to do.  I hope that this sweet boy found a forever home and we will continue to pray for him.

JVG

Parenting compliment

It's always nice to get a compliment.  It validates what you're doing and reassures you that you are in fact doing something right.  And, there is nothing better than hearing you are raising your kids well.  There have been a handful of people that have complimented us on our parenting this past week and I'm not gonna lie it feels good.

The first one came from one of the greeters at Meijer.  He is this sweet old man who told us that he has watched us over time with our kids and wanted to let us know what a good job we are doing.  That there are so many parents who just come in and their kids are whiny and even when our kids come in and aren't in the greatest moods we handle it well.  Thanks sweet old man greeter at Meijer... that's such a high compliment because any parent knows that the grocery store is notorious for kids being naughty.

Norah picking out her breakfast

The next came from a server at the breakfast place we like to go too.  A lot of the servers there have told us what good kids we have, but she went out of her way to tell us again.  :)  Then, while we were leaving this table full of hung over college kids told me that they were so impressed that our kids were so good and quiet (which they appreciated haha).  And, this older couple told us that we had a beautiful family and that our kids where so good.  Like SO good and that we should be proud of them.

Last, it came from Dude's swim teacher, Dan.  He told Gaetan that he loved watching him cheer Dude on during class because if you looked around the room all the other parents had just either 1.) dropped their kid off or 2.) where on their phones not even paying attention.  He said it was refreshing to see that we cared about what they were doing, and that he could tell the difference it was making.

So, thank you kind strangers for your words of encouragement.  There are days where you just want to throw your hands up in the air and give up, but you know you are in this for the long haul and it gives you a little extra juice keep trying especially when they're trying your last nerve.

JVG

Words hurt

Today ends Dude's very very busy week.  For his swim class he is enrolled in this intensive two week class that goes from Mon-Thur 10:30-11.  Then, he also had VBS with his friend Ava from 1-4, which meant that he was coming back from swim class with enough time to change, shower and get a snack before heading back out.  Which, also meant, no nap or downtime.  Through the week he was doing just fine but you could tell that he was exhausted.  And, today, it call came crashing down.

I had to print some music off for the wedding I'm playing this weekend so we did a quick stop at the Mins after VBS.  I was hoping that it wasn't going to be a big deal to do so, but knowing that the kiddos were tired was iffy.  They did all right... once we got home Dude asked if we could watch a movie because we had watched a show the day before while Greta was getting looked at, but I told him no today.  He was pretty unhappy with that response.  Then, as he was sulking he told me that he wanted to go eat dinner at a restaurant, but I already had dinner cooking in the crockpot.  So, I told him that it wasn't gonna happen today but maybe another time.  At this point, he gets the most angry, hurt, life isn't fair look I've seen to date and says, "I hate home."  Heart sinks.  As a Momma I try very hard to make this house a home and to make sure that my kiddos are happy... so, to hear him utter those words that he hated where he was hurt.

Now, I totally understand that he said it because he's exhausted and that's the only way he could think to show his displeasure, but.... doesn't hurt any less.  I'm sure if this week had been different and last week hadn't been so stressful it wouldn't have hit so hard, but this week was the way it was and last week was stressful, so it did.  Gaetan talked to him about it and told him what he said was hurtful and that he hurt Momma's feelings, to which he broke down and sobbed.  My poor boy wasn't out to hurt my feelings and knowing that he did hurt his... :(  It was a tough afternoon.

He was very sweet afterwards and told me how much he liked dinner (which he usually does).  The kids are in bed, and I'm hoping that they get enough sleep to start fresh again.

JVG

Happy 2nd Triple Mother's Day to me!

I am fully aware that Mothers Day is a Hallmark holiday but the idea behind making sure that you time the time to appreciate your Momma is nice.  I am lucky enough to have a family that does this on a daily basis, and we aren't usually into going big on these types of holidays but we had a nice time with my family.  My sister suggested that we cook Mom lunch and some of her favorite desserts and hang out, which is what we did!  After church we invited Dale and his girlfriend Marcella over along with Grandma and Grandpa.  It was quite a big gathering :)  On the way to church I got my favorite chai and was able to enjoy it all the way to Grand Rapids.

I have to say that I agree with this statement.  You go through your highs, and your lows and there are moments when you think you just can't do it anymore, but then there are times that you think you can do it forever.  There is joy and there is pain and in the end you're exhausted but are so thankful you are doing it.

The weather was absolutely beautiful... pretty warm and no rain!  My Mom's magnolia tree was in full bloom and the flowers were still on the tree.  For as long as I can remember it blooms for about a day and then we get this big storm and the wind blows all the pretty flowers off... so I was really glad to be able to see it :)  We played some kick ball outdoors with everybody and pretty much played until they dropped.

What makes this day so amazing... and every other day

I got a pic with the kids under my favorite tree

Dang, we are a good looking family!

They smelled amazing

Love it

Part of my Mother's Day contribution... little cheesecake tarts

The goods!

Norah and I were having a good time just sitting on the front porch watching the other kids play kickball

All the Momma's in the house!

When we got home I was able to get a nice run in and hang with the hubs.  :)  It was a very nice special day spent with all the people I love.





JVG

Papa/Goose Coffee Date

I know I've said this before but it just gets me that Lucy LOVES the taste of coffee.  I feel like a lot of people tolerate the taste because of the caffeine, but this girl genuinely thinks that it tastes GOOD.  For her birthday Gaetan wanted to take her out on a coffee date but her actual day was really busy... so they postponed and went the week after.  Next time they go I hope that they can try out this cute little place that has gourmet coffee/tea/cookies/treats called ChocolaTea... but this time was just a trip to Biggby.  She got a steamer with sprinkles and was quite pleased with herself.  I'm also glad that she gets to spend this one on one with her Papa, who loves her very much.  I try to be sensitive to the fact that she is the middle child and I feel like a lot of her stuff gets put by the wayside... so I want her to know that she is special and that she just doesn't get lost in the crowd.  She has such a personality that would lend itself to being self sufficient and not needing a lot of attention, but I know that just because you are independent doesn't mean you don't want to that individual time too.  So, I'm hoping that they can do it a little more often and that is something that is special just for them.  :)






JVG

Welcome Home Piper!

The Shellenbargers are a wonderful family that volunteer at Mars Hill and are the first room leaders that Lucy wouldn't freak out about going to when she was much smaller.  Ever since then we have been keeping in contact and have become good friends!  :)  They just adopted a girl from China and came back on Friday with her.  They already have a 9/10 year old girl named Kennedy that they adopted from China when she was 11 months, but sweet Piper is 4!  We have been following their travels and their story and were able to meet them with a team of people who supported them through this part of the journey and it was extremely special.  I was so excited to see them finally get their little girl and am praying for all the transition that will be happening.  David told us that Lucy was a big reason why they wanted to adopt another little girl... special bonding!  It was a little emotional for me because I just had a glimpse into the future of what it will be like for us.  Instead of meeting us at the hospital to welcome more members into our family we will be at the airport.  It was just a positive reenforcement that adopting is so close to our hearts.

Waiting at the gate

Dude giving Piper her balloon

JVG

Mysterious Goose rash

After our glorious walk outside, the next morning I was trimming the kids nails when I noticed that Goose's feet had this horrible rash all over it.  I'm not gonna lie it kinda freaked me out a bit.  I asked her if they hurt or itched and she said just itched... so then we did an inspection of the rest of her cute little body.  She had a little bit on her hands but no where else.  I sent pictures to other moms and wondered what they thought it was, and we ended up calling a nurse and scheduling an appointment.  Definitely wasn't planning on driving to GR that day, but I didn't want to keep taking Lucy to public places if she was contagious.  We thought that maybe it had to do with our walk outside, but it was weird because it initially presented on her feet and then a little on her hands and she stuck to the trails the entire time and wore socks and shoes.  Socks and shoes that she wore last year (no new detergents or anything like that) and she was wearing a skirt so I figured if there were any allergens on the path it would've gotten to her bare legs first but her legs didn't have anything.  The Dr said that she probably had a viral rash and that it would go away on its own.  And, it doesn't surprise me that Lucy would have that because her skin is so sensitive!  It itched really badly for probably two days but then it went away.  Always an adventuring in parenting!  Glad that it wasn't anything serious and it fixed itself quickly.

adorable little kid gown... to bad the adults don't have ones like those!

JVG

Possible new Mom friend

I have to say that I really enjoy where we live in Kalamazoo.  I know I've said it before but the community is amazing and I love the attitude, as a whole, of the people here.  One thing that is hard being in a city where you don't know anybody is making new friends... especially as a Mom!  You're priority is making sure that your kids are around other kids/parents that are good to be around and that you and your kids both like... which is harder than you think.  Most of the time I like the parents just fine but their kids are brats or whiners... but I think that we found a family that everybody likes!  I met her at K Phil and she has children about the same age as the crazies.  I made her a few meals because she got really sick and any Mom knows that as a Mom you don't get the excuse 'you're not feeling well'.  So, when it's something more serious than you do anything you can to help out.  Since she has been feeling better they invited us over to have dinner and so that the kids could play together.   It went really well!  The kids did well with their kids and we had this delightful Korean feast!  We are watching her youngest as she goes in for follow-up appointments so I think this could be the start of a beautiful little friendship.  :)  And, it's also really nice to know, as a parent, that there are other adults that you can trust if you need help with your kids.  I think that's the hardest part is vetting other adults... making sure that they are reliable and somebody you feel safe leaving your most precious treasure with.  So, we are really starting to set down roots and get involved with this community even more... let's hope we can stay :)

The kids table haha

Our delightful dinner... I tried cuttle fish and sardines!

JVG

Woe is me

Do you ever have those weeks where you think, "Poor me!  This week was horrible and hard and I just want to lock the door and shut the world out until I can stop feeling sorry for myself?!"  Well, that is me.  Right now.  As I blog.  Le sigh.

This hasn't been the easiest month due to all the snow and cancelled plans and having to stay inside because it's to effing cold to go out and play... which makes for stir crazy kids... which makes for frazzled parents.  But, this last week took the cake.  Our sweet Norah one afternoon was getting ready for lunch when I looked at her tray and it was completely covered in vomit.  Like, it was almost brimming over it was so full.  What. The. Heck.  She wasn't upset about it.  And I didn't even hear her do it.  Eek.  Our kids have never been pukers so we aren't really that experienced in it, even though this is our third!  Well, our sweet Norah continued to be sweet even though she was clearly very sick.  The only thing that would keep down is Momma milk, so at least I felt good that she was keeping some sort of food down.

Poor Goose at the library... she even had to take her mammick in and just wanted to lay on the bean bags

Us in the middle of the night because her fever was bad and just wanted to cuddle

Well, it didn't stop there.  Dude was watching a show and I was showering when Gaetan came in and said that he had just puked all up and down the side of the couch.  And the last thing that he had was chocolate milk... glorious.  We had been at the library earlier that day and Lucy was all sad and pathetic... you could just tell that she wasn't feeling well.  She luckily didn't puke but had a pretty severe fever, which made her want to be extra cuddly, but when I get a fever I don't want anything touching me... and then add on top of that Gaetan and I had it coming out both ends.  Marvelous.  We moved everybody into our room for the night and tried to survive til morning.  Lucy and Dude were good by morning which was good, but I still had stabbing pain in my stomach :(  Gaetan had seemed to get everything out of his system (literally) at night and was feeling pretty good.  We ended up going to my parents because we told them that we would help move my sister but I wasn't sure that we were going to live through the night.  Yes, that sounds dramatic, but when everybody is on the verge of puking or other at any given moment you don't wonder why we felt that way.

The hardest part I think is that the kids are still misbehaving.  I'm not sure what it is, but they are acting like entitled little brats and it's killing me.  It's killing me because I know that they're good kids.  It's killing me because I refuse to have kids like that. It's killing me because it gets to the point where I just don't want to get up because I'm not sure I can handle one more whiney fit being thrown because heaven forbid we didn't get them something fast enough or they wanted to do something and couldn't at the exact moment.  It's killing me because these can't be my kids... and I don't know how to fix it.  Just like being sick it seems like we are just trying to get through the day by the skin of our teeth and hoping and praying that the next day will be better.

The last part for sure

JVG

Crazy snow means snow forts!

The weather finally warmed up enough for the kids to go out and play.  It was killing them that there was so much snow on the ground but it was to cold to be able to enjoy it... so Gaetan took them out for a little bit while Norah slept.  After our crazy neighbor Margo moved out she left one of her cats here... :(  It had been crying for a few days at her used to be door and when she was confronted about taking her cat with her to her new place she said that she couldn't and left it here!  So, when the kids were playing the cat came over and they decided that it would be nice to make it a house.  They even put a snowball inside so that they cat had something to 'eat.'  I thought that this was probably the kindest gesture that poor cat had received...





The kids ended up making a snow fort and having a snow ball fight and then making a mini-snowman out front.  They sure do love playing in the snow and I was glad that we were able to get them some boots as well!  I can't wait for more playing in the snow... because as much as they love it, we secretly (or maybe not so secretly) love it too.

JVG

Dude questions

Dude is starting to come up with a lot of ziggers for questions.  Usually the difficulty in answering him is knowing how much detail to give.  And he does ask a lot of questions which is why I think he is so dang smart.  But the other day he asked,

"Why is the wind so ferocious?"
"Is Jesus alive?"

...  Well, the wind question was when we were having a pretty nasty storm and you could hear it rattling windows so that made sense.  How he came up with the word ferocious is what actually caught me off guard... I suppose it shouldn't anymore but he never ceases to amaze me.

The Jesus question came during a car ride that wasn't going to last to long... and I feel like that sort of questions isn't one that you can just quickly answer and move on.  So, we did the best that we could in the time that we had and he seemed pretty satisfied with our answer.  This was also coming off of listening to a lot of Christmas music in the car, so I see where he got it.



Kids.  They keep you on your toes... and they help you answer questions that you thought you already knew how to explain.  It is amazing how much you learn from them :)

JVG

My brother is a Dad

Tonight I got a wonderful text from my brother, and it was a picture of him with his newborn son, Daniel.  It was a bit of a long road for this to happen, but it did, and we couldn't be more excited for them.  May all the wonderful things that parenthood brings them continue to bless, enrich and teach them about what is important in life.  I can't wait to snug the little man!

JVG

Good ending

This week has been rough.  There has been a lot weighing on my mind, which takes its toll on my sleep (what little I'm getting) and the hurt that goes on.  Gaetan has been out more than usual this week because the guy he's tutoring (anybody seen Scrubs?  You know Doug?  They call him nervous guy?  Yup... that would be this kid... except not funny) had a quiz so he was wanting extra help, which is fine but that meant I was solo with the kids more than I'm used too, and that takes its toll too!  And especially this week they had been more naughty than usual... a lot of tears and time spent in their rooms.  It's been an interesting ride on the parenting front that's for sure!

This is the school bus that he made for Chase... he said this on this school bus there aren't any mean bullies.  What a sweet thoughtful boy

I still really like the neighborhood that we live in, but the longer that we live here the more apparent it is that we live in a lower-income community.  Yes, we don't make a lot of money so we financially belong here, but their lifestyles and how they treat each other is so different than what we think is acceptable.  There are handful of kids that my heart just breaks for because of the way they are treated (or neglected) and as a Momma I just want to hug them, and love on them but these kids are already so damaged I have to look out for my kids first, which is hard.  There is a lot of learning going on on what I want to expose my kids to and what I want them to learn and find out on their own.  So, it's been a trying week.

My Mom necklace I got... I Love it.  :)

Yup, I drank the whole bottle and didn't even drop a stitch!  Whoo!  haha

Today was the first day that we didn't have anything planned. Nothing.  And the prospect of having no obligations was awesome.  The kids slept in to a reasonable hour (which is good because I was naughty and stayed up drinking wine and knitting... yeah, I'm wild) and I got to try a bunch of new recipes that we really liked.  :)  That always makes me happy!







Our big fun ending was we went out to Fro Yo because they were having a buy 1 get one half off and face painting.  I knew that the kids were going to be all about the fro yo part but was interested to see what they thought of the face painting.  Well, they loved it.  Dude got a fox, in honor of "What does the fox say?!" and Goose got a tiger.  It was impressive and amazing.  They both did a great job with sitting still, which the artist just kept remarking on.  We got to go with Kim and Chase, and that was also a big treat for them.  :)

The first time she saw herself in the mirror

big thumbs up!  She loved it!

The sun was setting and the colors were absolutely breath taking.  Thank you God for showing us your beauty in the midst of all ugliness of this world.





JVG