A friend

This past weekend we celebrated Norah's first birthday!  We did a traditional dol like we did for the other two, but I definitely put in a lot more work for this one... we were lucky enough to have the use of my parents house for the first two, but this year we didn't think that the snow was going to be all melted, so there wouldn't be enough room for parking.  We decided to rent the clubhouse for this event, but that meant there was a lot more decorating involved and little things like plates, silverware had to be thought of!  It went really well, but I'm exhausted from it all.

I also learned a lot about who my friends are, and who they aren't.  If you've been around me at all, you know that I value honesty and being considerate.  I invited two couples that played a fairly large role in our college lives and a little bit after.  Another family that we met at church was also invited, who said that they would travel anywhere for Norah's party.  I told them at least a month ago about the party and all of them said that they would be there and were looking forward to it.  Well, a day before the party the family texts and says that they scheduled family pictures during that time and couldn't make it... Ok... why would you schedule something when you had already committed to another thing?  Rude.  And that they were sooo excited to go before, but now they aren't.  Then one of the couples called and said something came up... and they needed to go over some coding for a job that they applied for.  Why are you applying for a job that you aren't qualified for?  And can't you study in the car?  At least they had the decency to call... although they knew about the job thing days before.

So, I called the other couple to see if they were still coming and neither one of them answered their phones.  I ended up texting them both because I had to know about food.  I finally get a text back from the guy saying that it was to late in the day and they were really busy. Sorry.  At first I thought he was joking because he does that sometimes so I asked if he was serious and he was.  I'm not gonna lie I was pretty pissed.  I asked if they were ever going to tell me that they weren't going or if they were just not gonna show up.  And he said that he was going to later that night (the night before the party) but since I was asking now, then they weren't going.  I couldn't believe that he had the audacity to be snarky with me when he was the asshole who wasn't going to tell me although he already knew they weren't going. Then, his wife texts me and says that she knows I'm mad but things came up and that's that.  Really?  Because the only proper response I could muster was, "Well, fuck you."  I didn't tell them that, but that's how I felt.

Here's my perspective.  This couple is notorious for being flaky and at first when they started doing it, it didn't bother me so much... but as the years went on and if they claim to be our good friends then I think they would be more considerate.  I am a mother of three young children, so I know that unexpected things come up... but to wait until the very last minute to say something about it?  That's just rude.  And then to be snarky when you're called out for being shitty?  Not gonna happen to me.  And apparently they weren't to busy to hang out at an arcade all day but to busy to come see us.  Yes, they leave 2 hours away, but they always expect us to come out there to visit them.  Yes, us the family with three small children when they have none.  The last time I drove out there to see them was in November... and since we haven't made the effort to drive and see them we haven't seen them since.  I'm always the one emailing or texting to see how things are going and there are times that they don't even write back.

When I invited them in the back of my mind I knew that they weren't really going to come.  They weren't going to come because they are to fucking lazy to drive out and see their 'really good friends.'  Well, in this type of situation I'd wish they would just grow a pair and say, "I just don't feel like making the drive."  I would be better with that then making up lame excuses.  And yes, since this is my child I was taking it personally because I thought they cared about the things that I care about.

It is in my nature to give people the benefit of the doubt and to want to help... but at some point you gotta stop being naive and letting people walk on your good will.  I'm done wanting to help them.  I'm done wanting to try and keep plans and make them.  And, it's sad because we were good friends for a bit, but times change and people change and we must adapt.  I just cannot tolerate selfish people who will be not honest with their so called friends.  That type of behavior is for acquaintances.

Now, I'm not saying that if you can't make every thing I invite you to then I'm going to write you off... because, that's just a ridiculous set of expectations to set for your friends.  But, as a friend, I expect honesty.  I expect you to let me know if our plans as soon as possible because, I have a family and sometimes it takes a bit to change the plan.  I don't think that's unreasonable.  And while life does happen and I may seem disappointed (which, if I wanted to see you then of course I would be!) I will understand.  But, disappointment is different than being mad.  And, if you are going to be a shitty person with no regard for anybody but yourself and what works best for you, then, I will probably be mad and not be your friend.  You can only give and give and give before you realize that you don't want to give anymore.  Life happens so quickly, I don't have time to spend it with people who don't really care.  So cherish the people you care about and really value them.  Because, if they really are important to you, they will know it by your actions.

JVG

South America Day

My oldest nephew Justus is a 6th grader at the same school where I went to school.  And, they are still doing the same projects!  He invited us to go to their South America Day, and we knew that it would mean a lot to him if Uncle Gaetan could go.  So, we went and it was a lot of fun!  We took Norah with us and went to all the different tables.  It was funny to see the different dynamics people had in their groups and who was type A and who wasn't.  They had food at all their tables, which was fun to sample!  We had fun picking on some of the real nervous kids... asking them questions that they obviously wouldn't know the answers, but some of them handled it pretty well.  Others just gave us that blank scared look like, "If I give you another sample will you please just go away?" haha.

Justus and his partner Jeffrey

Being quizzed by his teacher

My fabulous poster haha

It was also really interesting to go through and see all the teachers that I had.  The most interesting was a guy I had for freshman math... and, he was still hanging a poster that I made with a group way back when!  That was really funny!  It was fun to talk with him and see how much he's calmed down... and now that I'm a parent its fun to see him as not just an educator.

A poster that my friend made in middle school too

I have to admit that it made me feel really old being there... with my youngest child... haha.  But, we were more than happy to support Justus in his presentation and see the stuff that he's been working on at school!  :)

JVG

Dinosaurs!

We took the kids to the dinosaur exhibit at the public museum and they loved it!  It was done really well and the kids loved it!  I highly recommend it for anyone who is wondering about going.  We went on the weekend so it was super busy, but we still had a good time.  We were there for a few hours and it went by so quickly.  I think the kids favorite thing wasn't even the dinosaurs... it was a caboose that they could climb on haha.  They behaved very well... the only time they were uncertain was when the dinosaur started to move and they weren't expecting it!  haha.

































 

JVG

KPhil... In Soviet Russia, the violin plays you!

We had another concert!  And, I have to say that this is the first one that our beloved Quebra and Dizzy couldn't make.  :(  But, I am thoroughly impressed that they had made it to all the other concert before this.  This is the first concert that I was genuinely worried about.  Most of the time I am a little nervous myself because the music is challenging, but as a group this time I was nervous.  We had so many snow days, weird scheduling conflicts and then when we did have rehearsal not everybody could make it because of the snow!  This was a very fitting concert cycle dealing with Soviet Russia and Russian composers and all the upheaval going on between Russia and Ukraine.  Interestingly enough, our conductor is Ukrainian... and the fact that he does our entire program at the beginning of the school year is impressive.

With our pianist doing Shostakovich 

But... we pulled it off!  I think the concert went very well, and I, personally, didn't stink it up.  I sat 3 chair, which is the closest that I ever want to be to the front... its intimidating!  And one of our songs had an anvil in it... yes, they were actually banging on an anvil... so you know it was awesome.  Next cycle will be my first one at this time of year... last year I was having a baby so I didn't participate.  And, I gotta say, that I was much more comfortable this year than last... I wasn't 37 weeks pregnant!  :)

Me n Jane

Rachmaninov! 

JVG

The husband's 28th

Today is Gaetan's birthday!  I had all these ambitions at the beginning of the week to let him sleep in, and have a very restful day but as his actual birthday approached i saw that this wasn't going to be a reality.  I got sick a few nights ago and still wasn't recovered by this morning :(  Boo.  Which, makes me a bad wife.  I passed out way early last night and apparently Dude was up quite a bit... but since I was so out of it I didn't even know it... and my dear, sweet husband, took care of everything so I could rest.  Then, this morning Norah apparently left a larger present for us than normal, which resulted in a bath this morning for everybody.  Not a fun way to start out your birthday!  But, after that, he got to take the girls to music class, which was a blast!  We hung out until we went to the Min's for taco night! We had delicious tacos with such vibrant colors and flavors... and then we did dessert.  I made dirt because Jane got spacers in a few days ago and her mouth was really sore, so we tried to do something soft.  :)  It was a pretty low-brow birthday, and I hope that we can go on a birthday date soon.  :)  Happy birthday to my love and champion!

Baby G

Lucy helped me make Gaetan's birthday dessert

JVG

Key conspiracy?

So, awhile back we traded house keys with our neighbor Kim incase either one of us got locked out.  A few months ago we couldn't find her key even though we hadn't used it and its high enough that the kids couldn't get at it.  This really stumped us because we had lost our car keys earlier but had found them and we don't lose things like that!  So, the fact that I thought that we had lost two keys in the last year was really frustrating!

Well, today when I was putting the girls in the car to go grocery shopping I just happened to look out my window and saw this red key chain in the snow bank.  The same one that was on our key that Kim gave us... so I got out of the car to get it and it wasn't ours.  It must've been Chase's key because it had some bead thing that wasn't on ours.  I still picked it up to return it... but then, I started thinking.  I bet that Chase had lost his key in the snowbank when he was playing and told his Mom.  Around the time that we couldn't find our key she stopped talking to us and said that she was just going through a lot of stuff.  Then it dawned on me.  A few days ago she came over, out of the blue, returning a bunch of books we had let her borrow.  Attached to one of the books was our house key.  It had been weird that she went from talking to us all of the time to not right around the time our key to her place went missing.  And then she returned ours... well, my theory is that she used our house key to get her house key and didn't tell us.  Which, is irritating because that is not what those keys were designed for.  Should I be irritated?  Its a trust thing.. but thinking about it also made me feel a little better knowing that I wasn't super unorganized and losing everything!

JVG

Spring?

It's March.  Almost the middle of March and there are still snow mounds bigger than my vehicle.  But, today, for the first time, it felt like spring.  It was almost 50 degrees and the sun was shining.  It was beautiful.  We took the kids outside for a walk and I even got to go running.  First run of the year outside in shorts!  It was amazing and just what I needed.  Unfortunately, in two days, its supposed to be single digits again, but, for now, we will take it and love it!





JVG

Chocolate Guinness Cheesecake

I have never made a cheesecake before, but I decided to go for this one.  I really enjoy the flavors of dark beer together with chocolate... and I love cheesecake... so it was the trifecta.  And it was delicious.  I highly recommend and the flavor of the Guinness isn't overpowering.  And in the spirit of it being St. Patrick's Day this week, this might just be the best time to give it a try. :)

http://www.closetcooking.com/2011/03/guinness-chocolate-cheesecake.html

JVG

Valentine's Day

Per tradition we went out for Chinese food and just hung out.  I think we went to the library first and then went out to eat, but that was almost a month ago and since I can't remember what day it is today I think I'm doing pretty good remembering we even went out!  haha.  Just kidding.  We usually get take out chinese but the kids really like the whole restaurant experience, and since they are so good when we go out its fun to do.  Norah is getting easier at restaurants because she can pretty much eat what we are eating, which is awesome.  Again, Valentine's isn't one of those 'holidays' that we really care about, but its nice to have a little tradition to do on that day.  :)

As usual, we do npr valentine's... and this one was specially for Gaetan because he loves RadioLab.  :)

JVG