Parents

There have been a lot of real serious issues going through, and I know that I'm still trying to digest a lot of them.  And I suppose the reason for the blog is to just get things out and they don't necessarily have to make sense (although, I'm sure, for you the reader, it would be more helpful. ;) 

The other day we were lucky enough to spend a little bit of time with one of our favorites, Amy.  She was in town for her sister's wedding and we got to drop her off at the airport.  It was amazing in that 1.5 or 2 hours that we got to see her that we've had the best conversations we've had with anybody (besides each other) in a really long time.  Probably since the last time we saw her!  Of course, that made me realize the importance of having community and fellowship with people... and especially people who have the same belief system as you do.  If it's in God's plan, we would so love to be neighbors with them. :)  I know the timing isn't right now, but I'm really hoping we can make that happen.  Gaetan and I joke about how it wouldn't really matter where we were living, as long as we could be around Amy and Brian (and probably a few other people... don't wanna be stuck in the middle of nowhere! haha)

But in that time with Amy were discussed parents.  There is so much depth and layering to 'what is a parent.'  and when do we stop viewing them as our heroes, and realize that they are people who are just trying to live life too... or when do they stop having authority over us.  Or just because we are biologically related to them does that mean that they are our parent figure?  In mine and Amy's case, that answer would be no.  both being adopted we have parent figures... does that change anything? 

I have to say that I am very grateful and thankful for the parents I have.  Of course my dad is still my hero, but as a parent now I am under no illusion that he is perfect (like I might've when I was younger. :)  And when I was in high school my mom and i didn't get along very much at all... but now I would say, she's one of the people I go to when I wanna talk things out or need perspective.  And being a Momma now I am trying to have a better understanding and appreciation for all that she did.

I am under no great idea that all people who have children are good parents.  Not by a long shot.  And that there are people who don't have children that are great role models.  I LOVE being a Momma.  Absolutely, no doubt about it.  And even when there are days filled with disobedience, poop and lack of sleep, I am happy to be here.  So for me, when I hear other Mother's talk about how much they dislike it, its hard for me to understand.  But I do understand that we are not all naturally inclined to be maternal.

I guess I'm still thinking of all the times I'm extra tired and Tristan is just pushing my buttons and I am losing my patience, I still find a way to handle it.  The more and more time I spend with Ingrid, the more and more i know she didn't like being a mother. And her situation was anything but ideal, but I just can't imagine handling the situations the way she did.  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how you could treat your children in that fashion and think its OK... but I'm sure it will come with time. 

And then there's Gaetan.  Coming from a terrible terrible home/family life how did he get it so right?  Its just amazing to know what he came from to how he is with his children.  we love him.

We were watching a House the other day and House was convinced that all parents screw up their kids... even if they have a good home life, being normal screws them up... it was an interesting thing to think about.  I'm still mauling over a lot of things, but that's where I'm at right now.

There are a few things I know for certain... that if we continue to go to God for guidance on how to be good parents things will work out, and that I love my children and my husband.  And food. :)

JVG