Parents

There have been a lot of real serious issues going through, and I know that I'm still trying to digest a lot of them.  And I suppose the reason for the blog is to just get things out and they don't necessarily have to make sense (although, I'm sure, for you the reader, it would be more helpful. ;) 

The other day we were lucky enough to spend a little bit of time with one of our favorites, Amy.  She was in town for her sister's wedding and we got to drop her off at the airport.  It was amazing in that 1.5 or 2 hours that we got to see her that we've had the best conversations we've had with anybody (besides each other) in a really long time.  Probably since the last time we saw her!  Of course, that made me realize the importance of having community and fellowship with people... and especially people who have the same belief system as you do.  If it's in God's plan, we would so love to be neighbors with them. :)  I know the timing isn't right now, but I'm really hoping we can make that happen.  Gaetan and I joke about how it wouldn't really matter where we were living, as long as we could be around Amy and Brian (and probably a few other people... don't wanna be stuck in the middle of nowhere! haha)

But in that time with Amy were discussed parents.  There is so much depth and layering to 'what is a parent.'  and when do we stop viewing them as our heroes, and realize that they are people who are just trying to live life too... or when do they stop having authority over us.  Or just because we are biologically related to them does that mean that they are our parent figure?  In mine and Amy's case, that answer would be no.  both being adopted we have parent figures... does that change anything? 

I have to say that I am very grateful and thankful for the parents I have.  Of course my dad is still my hero, but as a parent now I am under no illusion that he is perfect (like I might've when I was younger. :)  And when I was in high school my mom and i didn't get along very much at all... but now I would say, she's one of the people I go to when I wanna talk things out or need perspective.  And being a Momma now I am trying to have a better understanding and appreciation for all that she did.

I am under no great idea that all people who have children are good parents.  Not by a long shot.  And that there are people who don't have children that are great role models.  I LOVE being a Momma.  Absolutely, no doubt about it.  And even when there are days filled with disobedience, poop and lack of sleep, I am happy to be here.  So for me, when I hear other Mother's talk about how much they dislike it, its hard for me to understand.  But I do understand that we are not all naturally inclined to be maternal.

I guess I'm still thinking of all the times I'm extra tired and Tristan is just pushing my buttons and I am losing my patience, I still find a way to handle it.  The more and more time I spend with Ingrid, the more and more i know she didn't like being a mother. And her situation was anything but ideal, but I just can't imagine handling the situations the way she did.  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how you could treat your children in that fashion and think its OK... but I'm sure it will come with time. 

And then there's Gaetan.  Coming from a terrible terrible home/family life how did he get it so right?  Its just amazing to know what he came from to how he is with his children.  we love him.

We were watching a House the other day and House was convinced that all parents screw up their kids... even if they have a good home life, being normal screws them up... it was an interesting thing to think about.  I'm still mauling over a lot of things, but that's where I'm at right now.

There are a few things I know for certain... that if we continue to go to God for guidance on how to be good parents things will work out, and that I love my children and my husband.  And food. :)

JVG

Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. I don't feel much older... :)  it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, in terms of the activities that we did.  I know a lot of people think that you should do something special on your birthday, and if yesterday would've allowed for it then I'm sure we would've.  Sundays just tend to be a busy day for us.  We drive an hour to church (one way) and then we usually are doing things to get ready for the week... like grocery shop and make sure all the homework is done.  I think that I will try and see if somebody (most likely my parents) will watch the kiddos while Gaetan and I have a date.  I feel badly sometimes because at night he wants to hang out but I'm either so tired, or I've had children on me all day, I would like to be alone for a little bit.  With all the marriages around me failing I am ultra sensitive to trying to keep ours solid... i guess I've just become more aware of how easy it can be to let things slide. 

I guess honestly, my birthday was kinda a poopy day... literally.  Ever since Lucy's started eating baby food it seems like she's doubled her output and I think that we fed Tristan too much juice so he was more on the explosive end.  I felt bad for the poor Dude... but I've learned my lesson on that!

I also had a choice yesterday too to either stew and be upset that my birthday wasn't that great easy day, or just come to the realization that when you have two small children your celebration might just happen on a later day.  :)  I was pretty happy though when my head hit the pillow last night because I knew that tomorrow was another day.

Funny how everyday is a choice on whether you're going to make the best of it, or just wallow in self pity.  I have just been trying to keep things in perspective... so when I feel like I've had a bad day I just think of all those people who haven't eaten in days, or the people who are trying to literally rebuild their homes.  I don't try to make myself feel guilty for having nice things but I am trying to keep things in check and not take what I do have for granted.

JVG

Being Thankful

As Thanksgiving approaches there are many things to think about and to be thankful for!  Even little things have spurred on a new perspective on how much I actually have to be thankful for.  There is so much evil and bad that is going on in the world... what you hear on the news, things happening to people you know... it is very easy to get sucked into the despair.  BUT I know that we serve a God that doesn't understand or know what we're going through.  That there are things that go on that He doesn't know about... and in that, we can have hope.  And in hope, there can be life.

Recently, I have been noticing a lot more people's marriages failing.  Good Christian people too... and that has been really hard for me to swallow or wrap my mind around.  I was talking with my good friend Amy, and she reminded me that we're all human and just because we are Christians doesn't make us falter...  It was a good reminder of grace, but it still confuses me.  I know just because we profess Christ to be our Savior doesn't mean (and actually probably is the opposite) that our hardships will be taken away... but as somebody who is in the midst of figuring out how to make my marriage be full of love and continue to grow in Christ I just shake my head.  Right now, I know, without a shadow of a doubt that my marriage is rock solid and pretty much you could throw anything at us and we would survive.  I KNOW we would.  And I just am thinking and wondering what changes in people's marriages.  How can one go from being like this to the opposite of walking away?  I know that people say marriage is work, and I'm beginning to see it.  Now I see that there are things that I need to consider and make sure happen in order for us to remain this way.  Simple things like always kissing each other good night, or saying I love you.  I love my husband.  He's fantastic.  And I never want my feelings to change... other than stronger :)

So the next time you're upset about something little, be it having to do dishes, waking up at o'dark thirty because your kids are up, or having to clean.... think of those who don't have dishes or food to eat, those who want to have kids or have experienced the loss of a child, or people who don't have a place to call their own.  It will make you more joyful and give your heart more perspective.

JVG

Things getting put together

Its been a little over a week since we've moved in and things are starting to feel comfy and homey.  I'm getting decorations and such put up and getting things that I need out of boxes!  Moving with two small children is such a different ball game then with just one, or without any!  It takes a bunch more organization and time management, but it is getting done :)

I am really happy with the new place.  I know that the commute is WAY better for Gaetan which is really nice... and with winter coming up it gives me more peace of mind.  Since the move, I've been back to GR a few times and the drive is just loooong.... I know I'm also tired because of having just moved, but I don't know how he did it everyday!  Yuck!

I really really really like the city though.  I was a little worried that there wasn't going to be much to do or find, but there is A TON of kid friendly things.  The library here is awesome, and Tristan LOVES going there.  That is going to be a big help when winter comes and it gets too cold to play outside.  It also helps that its really close.  That's the nice thing about Portage so far I suppose... everything is so close, but you don't feel clustered or anything like that.  I still feel like we have enough space but everything is right there for us.  It's awesome.  Everybody says that people like it here, and I'm beginning to see why.  I never really thought that we'd be around here longer than we have too, but if the doors open and opportunities present themselves, I think I could be good with it.  That is if a few people moved closer ;)

The kids are doing great with the change too.  I was most worried about Tristan, but he seems to be adapting well, and he loves having our own home.  We asked him the other day if he was excited about his new home and he YES and if he liked his room and he was very enthusiastic about it.  Lu Girl is a champ about everything.  She is starting to eat baby food which is good!  I was beginning to feel like I wasn't giving her enough from nursing, and she was so interested in everybody else eating it seemed like a good time to start.  It's also a bit of a relief too that she'll be able to eat if I'm not around.  And that makes it easier for planning things... I'll probably make sure that she has a bottle to eat, but knowing that she's so about other food is good :)

There are some great trails along with parks here.  I can't wait for the warmer weather really.  I've been doing a bit of running while the weather is still nice and the trails are amazing.  They have a lot of people on them, which is nice, because it makes me feel like they're pretty safe.  There is just so much to do!  I love it!  I was a little worried that when we moved down here there wouldn't be anything to do and I would be stuck at home with the kids all day everyday, but that definitely is not the case.  Am probably going to drive to the children's museum some still, because it's great, but there is a children's museum in KZoo that I'm looking to try out.

Lucy girl is on the verge of crawling.  She can move herself in circles and from laying to sitting, but not the all out crawl yet.  It will be another story once she gets mobile like that!  We also started doing some sign language with her too :)

A little bit of updating on everything... real choppy I know, but we just got internet and there is so much floating on inside my head!  I will try to slow down once I get things more situated and elaborate more on things.

JVG

All moved!

I'm quickly using the internet while the kids play at the library but we are all moved into our new place! Portage is a really nice area.  They have a lot of great parks, trails and the library here is great!  We don't have internet yet, so I will be updating a lot more later, but just wanted to let everybody know that the move was successful and we love having our own place again.  :)

JVG